Toxic Positivity: Keep Your Emoji-Speaking Mantras to Yourself

Understanding the Impact of Shallow Encouragement and How to Offer Genuine Support

Photo by Clark Tibbs on Unsplash

This photo says it all, please stop telling me what to do. lol

Trigger warning: Incoming GenX sarcasm…

Is Toxic Positivity Keeping Us From Being Authentic?

Ever feel like you’re drowning in a sea of “stay positive” advice? You’re not alone. Toxic positivity, with its emoji-speaking mantras, is like trying to put out a fire with glitter—it’s pretty but doesn’t really help.

I first wrote about this on my previous website in 2022. It received some interesting comments, so I thought I would see how we’re feeling about this now in 2024.

What is Toxic Positivity?

• Dismissing Negative Emotions: Think of shallow encouragement as emotional band-aids. Spoiler: They don’t really fix anything.

• Replacing Empathy with False Reassurance: Imagine telling someone to “calm down” while they’re having a meltdown. It’s like offering a high-five during a funeral.

• Insisting on Positivity No Matter What: Because who doesn’t love being told to smile through a root canal?

• Forcing Gratitude and Fake Smiles: Sure, your face might get stuck in that position, but your problems won’t disappear.

• Minimizing Feelings: Pretending a paper cut doesn’t hurt while secretly dying inside.

• Shaming Others for Genuine Emotions: Nothing says “friendship” like telling someone to “stop being such a downer!”

• Avoiding Negative Thoughts: As if positive thinking can un-burn your toast.

• Brushing Off Problems: Out of sight, out of mind, right? Wrong.

The Harmful Impact of Shallow Encouragement

We’ve all heard lines like “It could be worse” or “This too shall pass.” These are classic examples of shallow encouragement—like the kale of emotional advice.

Genuine optimism isn’t about slapping on a fake smile and pretending everything’s peachy. It’s about letting our rollercoaster emotions have a seat at the table, allowing both grief and gratitude to mingle without anyone getting a timeout.

Stuffing feelings away is second nature for many of us. Why share when the response is a glossy one. It’s like talking to a wall that hands out motivational quotes.

We’re all familiar with the clichés: “Be grateful,” “Keep your head up,” “Choose happiness,” and “Positive vibes only.” Let’s be honest—telling someone to choose their mindset while they’re in despair is like handing out ice cream to someone with a dairy allergy. It’s not going to fix the problem and might just make it worse.

Why We Mask Our True Feelings

Sure, these quotes might have a nugget of truth, but they can be about as useful as a chocolate teapot. We hide our feelings to avoid being branded a Negative Nancy. For introverts, it’s more about avoiding the “downer” label while quietly enjoying a cozy blanket and a good book.

Is society becoming more isolated just to escape the relentless wave of emoji-speaking mantras and shallow encouragement? Are we trading genuine connection for a world of glittering clichés?

Photo by Trung Thanh on Unsplash

How to Offer Genuine Support

Instead of relying on surface-level positivity, try these empathetic approaches:

1. Just Listen: Offer your full attention without interruption, giving advice, or pep talks. Sometimes, people just need to be heard.

2. Offer a Raincheck: If you can’t listen fully, let them know you’d love to hear more when you can give them your full attention.

3. Validate Their Emotions: Acknowledge their feelings by reflecting on what they just said.

4. Create a Safe Space: Ensure your interactions are free from judgment or unsolicited advice.

5. Be in the Moment: Look at them without noticing distractions and allow for some silence for them to gather their thoughts before continuing.

Genuine Connection Over Empty Quotes

Repeating mantras or resorting to shallow encouragement doesn’t mean you’ve actually processed your emotions or those of others. When you genuinely check in on someone, it’s like opening the door to a cozy living room rather than a bland lobby of self-help clichés.

In the end, we all crave to be heard, validated, seen, understood, and loved. Providing a space for someone to feel that is much more meaningful than offering a well-intentioned but hollow quote.

So, is toxic positivity keeping you from sharing your real emotions?

My cringe TikTok I made to go with my original post. lol

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Lori K Today is a lifestyle publication. Reflecting on life w/ GenX humor. Sharing relatable mostly short stories, recipes, reviews, and Human Design.