Never Get Married

This is self-care, not selfishness. You will be selfless in other aspects of your life, marriage does not have to be one of them.

Lori K

Jul 08, 2024

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What is ONE piece of advice that you would give your younger self?

Mine is to never get married and this is how I would do it.

I didn’t receive many phone calls as a child and had an active imagination. So, a phone call like this might have worked for me.

Phone Call to Myself

Hey, I see how sweet and feisty, yet self-conscious you are. I’m hoping you will do us one little favor. I’m calling you today to offer some much needed advice that will give you the freedom to be who you’ve always dreamt of being... a princess. Receiving unconditional love, peace, and living magically with all the plum purple color in your life that your little heart desires.

You will have an amazing life no matter what. However, marriage isn’t for you. You’re meant to thrive without it. Will you take a moment to at least listen to what I have to say?

You’ll notice that we aren’t like our peers in so many ways. One of the ways we differ is that we never dream of having a wedding like the other girls seem to do.

Have the connections with whomever you choose. Enjoy good non-toxic relationships. You will heal and grow more without the confines of marriage. You’re a whole person on your own. You will not do well if you live with others, let alone marry them.

Make your home reflect who you are, change your mind as often as you like without criticism, come and go as you please, get your favorite pet, change careers without worrying about another person, keep your house as organized as you want, take on any hobby that you like and then ditch it as soon as you no longer like it. You get the idea.

This is self-care, not selfishness. You will be selfless in other aspects of your life, marriage does not have to be one of them.

You can raise a child without being married. Raise your child as it will turn out to be if you do marry anyway… alone.

Alone is a word that frightens most of society. However, resist the urge to go along with the societal pressure to marry. Just say no. Celebrate with those that feel marriage is right for them and ignore those that push you to do the same.

The importance of our alone time and sitting in silence is vastly misunderstood.

You grow up learning that it’s more important to focus entirely too much on others and you will lose sight of yourself. Staying single will help you hear the whispers of your wants and needs rather than taking care of others all the time.

Just this once please listen to me, NEVER get married! I cannot stress the never part enough. I know you’re labeled as stubborn and have that need to please others (trauma response)… just don’t do it with marriage.

It’s important for you to honor who you are, others may not. Some will come into your life who you will love and you’ll be loved back. Make it completely clear that you have no intention to marry. Best not even to live with them, but definitely not marry.

No need to take on someone else’s name. Although you don’t see it, you are enough just as you are. You can do all things without being married. Oppression isn’t your cup of tea. No need to be defined by someone else’s name. Sign your name to freedom by not signing it with someone else’s name.

The same questions will be answered differently in different stages of your life because you’ll grow so much over the years. Learn from the questions, but do not stray from the marriage question. IT. IS. NOT. FOR. YOU.