New Town, Old Demons: Broken Promises and Addiction
A Mother's Fight for Stability
It's the age-old story of a new town, old demons. Broken Promises and addiction seem to go hand in hand, don’t they?
Sandy and Sam: A New Beginning Shattered by Old Shadows
The divorce was as messy as the marriage, the kind that leaves long-lasting scars. After twenty-one years of enduring substance abuse, broken promises, and domestic abuse, Sandy finally found the strength to leave.
Packing their lives into a car for a four-state drive with her child, Sam, brought back a flood of memories of doing the same with her mother. They headed to a place where she had more family to help them get back on their feet. Hiding the tears streaming down her face from Sam, they left behind everything they once knew – their family, their friends, their home.
Sam’s father moved to an adjoining state. It didn’t take long before he started to fill Sam's head with promises of a better life. The better life of living in a better state… his state. With a sharp tongue, he spun fairy tales of a perfect life, dripping with manipulation and deceit.
Years passed, and at eleven, Sam was convinced. Sam’s father’s constant badmouthing of Sandy, her family, the state they lived in, and the school system eventually poisoned Sam's mind.
One night, as they sat in their cramped living room, Sam looked up with those innocent eyes and asked, “Mom, why can’t I live with Dad? He says it’s so much better there.”
New Town, Old Demons: Broken Promises and Addiction
Heartbroken but committed to doing what’s right by Sam, Sandy uprooted their lives and sacrificed their support system yet again. Just a part of a Mother's Fight for Stability.
However, the rural town in the ex’s state felt like a deserted prison to Sandy, who didn’t know anyone. The isolation seemed to close in around her, with nights stretching into endless silence.
She never spoke ill of Sam's father or the place he had chosen to live. She knew she would bear the brunt of taking on the relentless financial strain of raising their child. As she struggled with a less-than-ideal living situation, she remained steadfast in protecting Sam from the ex’s negativity. She held onto a grateful heart for the ability to make such sacrifices. Finding solace in the fact that she could provide even a small modest home for Sam despite the challenges.
But old patterns are hard to break. Regardless of her best efforts, it wasn’t long before cracks in the facade of her ex’s grand promises of a better life began to show. After managing to get their child in the same state through his manipulation, it quickly became clear that old habits die hard.
Sam came home one day with a shadow of worry clouding their eyes. “Dad’s been acting strange,” they confided, the innocence in their voice saturated with concern. “He says he’s just tired, but… I think something might be really wrong with him.”
Sandy’s heart sank. She knew all too well the signs of addiction, the way it crept back into lives like a thief in the night. She watched as the stability she had hoped to provide for Sam began to unravel, as the familiar chaos of her ex’s life seeped into theirs again.
Yet, for her child, she put on a brave face, masking her own inner turmoil. She found solace in therapy, working through the searing pain and simmering anger toward her ex for his relentless manipulation and broken promises.
Each day, she held onto a profound sense of gratitude for not having chosen the easier path of just sending their child to live with him. Deep down, she knew his promises of sobriety were as fragile as his countless failed rehab attempts. Without her presence, their child would have had to endure the all-too-familiar instability that comes with substance abuse.
Sandy grappled with the stark reality that her sacrifices, though meaningful, could not fully shield Sam from the turmoil that plagued their father. Yet, she clung to hope, determined to offer Sam the best life she could muster. Even as she faced the searing pain of seeing Sam have to watch their father’s promises crumble once again.
Three states later, all Sandy can think of when people say it's time for a “fresh start” is the age-old story of just a new town, old demons: broken promises and addiction.
Has your family been affected by addiction?
Lori K Today is a lifestyle publication reflecting on life w/ GenX humor, Ginger Sass, and all Heart.
Not immediate family, but other relatives. I see their pain. Sandy is and was a strong woman