Miles Apart: The Mountain Man Billionaire Behind the Gifts
Secrets Revealed in This Twisted Rom-Com with a Billionaire
Miles Apart: The Mountain Man Billionaire Behind the Gifts
1/24/2025
Dear Charlie,
You know that feeling when you’re right in the middle of a rom-com but the plot takes a left turn? Yeah, that’s me right now with Mountain Man.
You probably thought you’d never hear his name again, right?
Which, naturally, made me think about our long-running tradition of assigning ridiculous nicknames to the people we’ve dated. Let’s review the roster, shall we?
My Dating Hits (or Misses):
Mountain Man: Wannabe mysterious, but just came across as untrustworthy.
Geek Guy: Kind, but naïve.
Kid: A gamer with a kid Theo’s age, but different priorities.
Dear Deer: Obsessed with calling me “dear” and with deer hunting.
And now there’s Buff Dude, the neighbor from next door to my shop. But let me be clear, there’s absolutely zero romantic interest from me on that one.
Your Hall of Fame:
Nurse: I really thought she was the one for you.
Twin: Would have worked if she didn’t want her twin with her so much, right?
Party Girl: We all saw that ending coming.
Canyon: Sweet but shallow.
I’m sure I’m forgetting a few of our greatest hits, but those were the roller-coaster highlights. Sometimes I think we could write a book just on our dating escapades. “Love in the Land of Bad Nicknames” has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?
Anyway. Mountain Man is back. And not just back, Charlie, he dropped a doozie on me this time.
Let me rewind: I went full Sherlock Holmes trying to track down the sender of all those expensive gifts from my Amazon wishlist. My investigation left no stone unturned. I mean, I grilled everyone I could think of! Mountain Man was the absolute last person on my list of suspects, but when all my other leads fizzled out, I reluctantly texted him.
He admitted the gifts were his way of “testing the waters.” Testing the waters with Amazon packages? I will never understand this man!
After thanking him for being so generous, I jokingly said, “So, was this your grand plan all along? To woo me back with Amazon Prime?”
He replied, “I just wanted to see if we could still laugh together. Guess I succeeded.”
Oh, we’re laughing all right,” I text back. “Laughing at how I never pegged you for a billionaire Santa Claus. Do I call you Jeff Bezos now?”
Are you sitting down? Here’s the plot twist: Mountain Man then confides in me that he actually owns a massive company. Charlie, it’s one we all know. I’m not kidding. He’s worth almost a billion dollars. He said he kept it quiet because he wanted to make sure any connection we had wasn’t about money.
Can you imagine? He’s so down-to-earth, you’d never guess he’s basically Keanu Reeves with a billionaire bank account. It’s like Mountain Man was hiding a freaking jet under his flannel this entire time.
I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone (which is why I’m keeping this vague), but I investigated him thoroughly and it’s all legit. But is it “Too Legit to quit”? Lol I just couldn’t help myself.
We had some good times, but the distance and all his secretive walls were just too much. We ended things on okay terms, but now he’s back with gifts and his billion-dollar secret.
He left me hanging more times than not. Especially when my world felt like it was crumbling. He wasn’t there emotionally, physically, or financially. I mean, I never expect anyone to step in financially for me, but now he wants to swoop back in, billionaire title in tow? It’s giving me whiplash, Charlie.
Kate nearly choked on her coffee when I told her over the phone. “I knew he was hiding something,” she said. “But I thought it was, like, a secret kid, not a bank account bigger than Alaska.” She asked me what you thought about all this, and I admitted I hadn’t told you yet. You were always leery of him too. You were both right all along.
The song I wrote for Mountain Man poured out of me like a confession. Each word is a reflection of the way he strung me along. The walls he put up that made me question so many things. It’s raw and unpolished, but I think it might be the best thing I’ve written so far.
Charlie, I’m still untangling all of this. Part of me wants to let myself believe in the possibility of this billionaire love story. However, the other part remembers the cracks in this unstable foundation that I wanted so much to believe in. Just thinking about the red flags, and the feeling that I would be stepping into the same old pattern with just a shinier package now.
How do I even process all of this? I feel like I just walked into the plot of a rom-com, but instead of running into his arms, I’m sitting here writing to you even though we’re miles apart. Life is wild.
I feel like I’ve stepped into something that’s both familiar and terrifying. Do I let my guard down and believe in the possibility, or do I keep it up, knowing that I’ve been burned before?
I’m spinning. Call me soon, I need your perspective.
Xo, Ana
P.S. Keri just dropped a whole new layer involving Buff Dude. I am one eyebrow raise away from thinking this town’s dating pool is secretly a sitcom.
The Miles Apart Series is based on Ana’s desire to bring back the excitement of handwritten letters. Start with this short introduction post to learn more.
You can find all these letters under Stories.
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