Miles Apart: Charlie's Response and Bittersweet Gratitude
Writing to process emotions and connect to his heart.
Miles Apart: Charlie's Response and Bittersweet Gratitude
11/29/2024
Charlie,
I’m writing to you in the quiet of the morning with a grateful heart. It’s the kind of quiet that makes me miss the mornings we would sometimes share together. My coffee is hitting just right though, as the sun tries to peek through the clouds.
Hearing your reaction of gratitude to my first letter was such an unexpected delightfully delicious spark I didn’t realize I needed. And I agree with you, it feels like another authentic, meaningful way to stay connected as our lives continue to change. Seeing your face on FaceTime, watching you light up as you expanded on our “what if” design - highlight of my week… HIGHLIGHT!
You’re still thinking about that property in the country, aren’t you? The one you found after I moved. You sound so sure, like it’s already ours, just waiting for us to claim it. And you know me, I can’t stop sketching after we talked to incorporate your ideas into my amateur drawings. Don’t mind me digging way down the rabbit hole on this one.
Dates
When you said no one compares, it hit me in that bittersweet way you’re so good at making me feel. Strange, isn’t it? How we both cheer each other on to date, to find someone we can do things with, but here we are. You spot red flags before appetizers hit the table. I spot them in that dreaded two-word text, “What’s up”. Maybe we’re not as subtle as we think.
It’s hard to explain our unique situation to others. People struggle to understand a connection like ours and the circumstances we are up against right now. You just can’t ask people who are drawn to each other this way to give that up in this lifetime. We’ll always talk, text, FaceTime, and meet up a couple times a year. That’s non-negotiable.
However, if one of us did find someone who could rewrite our stories, I know we’d respect that. We’d pull back, step aside. But the thought of it? Let’s not. I’m not ready to imagine that kind of world.
I wonder if it’s selfish to keep this unshakable bond from miles apart and still hope for some local companionship. Maybe we’re just too “unique” for the dating world to handle. Clearly, we’re not the catch of the day.
Thanks Thanksgiving
I thought about you a lot over Thanksgiving. It hurts not being there. Funny that no matter how much I dislike holidays, they’re always going to be around. Thanks Thanksgiving.
You painted such a vivid picture of the day. Your uncle flying in, full of opinions and drama, the tension with your niece over politics (classic). I’m glad she came despite it. And your other niece, still engaged, still unapologetically herself. I admire her for that.
But your parents. They’re the heart of it all. Your dad’s quiet smiles, your mom’s sense of humor, even as her health struggles wear her down. It breaks my heart to know she’s not doing well. And your brother? Well, some things never change, do they?! Family is always just so perfectly imperfect!
As for me, Thanksgiving was quiet. I kept imagining what it would’ve been like to spend it with you. Us stealing moments outside with the dogs, bundled up in the cold, avoiding whatever drama was brewing indoors. You’d make some sarcastic comment, and I’d chuckle, feeling gratitude to have moments like that to pack into the old memory bank. Grateful, but bittersweet.
Holding On To That Autumn Drive
Oh, before I forget… your playlists are officially influencing my algorithms. I keep replaying songs from our autumn drive we took to that cute little cider store in the countryside. It’s like I’m trying to bottle up that moment, keep it alive a little longer.
I just put on Kashmir by Led Zeppelin. It takes me back to those high school days of ours, even though we didn’t go to high school together. And now, it brings me back to you and our drive that day.
I miss days like that. You, me, no words, just music and the open road. How did we ever get so good at making the world feel like it belonged to us?
Kate
Speaking of belonging. Being Kate’s bridesmaid feels like a lifetime ago, but I still remember every detail of that day. Do you?
I’ll be forever grateful that my best friend and you get along so well. Not everyone could appreciate her sharp humor or how fiercely she loves the people in her life, but you? You fit right in.
What I can’t stop thinking about, though, is the impact her mom had on her wedding day. On us. On everyone. It’s hard to put into words, but it still gives me chills when I think about it.
Anyway. I have to run for now. Remind me to tell you in my next letter how her mom showing up like that changed the entire feel of the day for her.
Xo, Ana
P.S. Are you decorating a tree for Odie’s second Christmas this year? He’s so patient for a nearly 1-and-a-half-year-old puppy… such a good boy!
The Miles Apart Series is based on Ana’s desire to bring back the excitement of handwritten letters. Start with this short introduction post to learn more.
Offering Neurospicy GenX perspectives with four sections: Stories, GeekOut, Human Design, and Recipes.